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bouncing_life
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Country: Philippines
Metro: Manila
Birthday: 1/18/1982
Interests: Tigger, F*R*I*E*N*D*S, reading, blogging, sleeping, Jennifer Aniston, Vanity Fair, Judie of Pork Chop & Friends, my Starbucks planner, bags, strawberry yogurt, my discman, camwhoring
Expertise: Securing borders, opening doors
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: fearless_bounce
Yahoo:  fearless_bounce
Member Since:
11/12/2004
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| I know it's been a while, and after the last post below, I switched to yet another blog (hopefully my last jump). I am now here. See you there. | | |
| i will rest for a while.
while waiting for mom a while ago in a bookshop, i found myself wanting to devote more time to reading the books and magazines i bought (and borrowed). it's probably an illness of sorts that i tend to collect and collect books and magazines without even reading them. i should start picking them up and browsing the pages, although as it is, i have 5 or 6 books unfinished all stacked in my bedside table.
i felt i should give up blogging for a while because this is the only time-consuming activity that could take the backseat, given my set of priorities.
as i go on "blog leave", let me share to you my wishlist. i intend to have all of them soon, and read or watch them hopefully in this lifetime :) if any of you can help me secure any of them, particularly the dvds, please...email me :) hopefully when i regain the interest to blog, i have all of them already.
- Sophie's Choice (William Styron)
- An Instance of the Fingerpost (Iain Pears)
- The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century (Thomas L. Friedman)
Jennifer Aniston's Vanity Fair May 2001 and September 2005 cover issue
Vanity Fair March 2003 (Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks, etc.)
Vanity Fair June 2003 (with Amanda Bynes, Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Mandy Moore, Hilary Duff, Alexis Bledel, etc)
and kasi feeling ko cute lang kaya i've been wanting to have this:
 
~*~*~*
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| i, ambitious wretch.
i discovered that i am a superficial career...person. now i lust after my ex-editor's desk, it being my self-appointed sanctuary for a little while now. my own hub was cleaned free of countless unimaginable dirt, all right, but i still won't leave THE desk, joking that i want to get the feel of it. a real wretch. i admit to getting all pretentious and pompous because i really like the idea of a bigger table, having enough space whenever i turn. it's not about the position title, people. it's about the space you own. your own domain. *evil grin*
seriously, as i tread the polluted streets of manila every night on my way home, i try to confirm with myself if i regret that i did not apply to fill in THE seat. there's got to be a reason why i get all whiny inside with the thought of THE desk becoming occupied by someone else again. is it because i am slowly getting used to this temporary "filling in"? am i liking the power-tripping that goes with it, i.e., toying with who to forward what case, much to the dread of three wonderful people? the idea of having to give the "approval", no matter how mundane the activity is? i still have roughly around 25 work days before THE space becomes unavailable--and only holy cows know until when it would stay that way. i thought, factors that led me to not go for THE desk are still on the horizon: frustrating office politics (lowlife style) and impending studies. nothing's changed in that aspect, unless the very core of it did: i now want it. i can't answer that now. and even if i do and it gears toward the "i want it after all" side...it's too late. then again, no one knows. i may just be itching for a bigger work area, especially after seeing that someone has a rather big cube of his own. i'm a normal human being after all...salivating for what you saw that gave you a sudden envy rush without thinking ahead if it will fit you anyway.
for now, i am not to give up THE desk, no matter what they say. let me get tired of it until the first week of march. i will.
in addition, THE desk could help me reverse what could be a lasting impression. see, i think it was the third time this year (this early, yes) that our super publisher caught me yakking and yakking. he must be thinking, "this fat girl is not doing anything but yak." well, it's about one-third true. so apart from actually working more seriously (THE desk, remember, THE desk!), i resolve to carry a case file with me when i feel like blabbing to my staff. it's a very professional way of making chismis during office hours. the ability to insert an office jargon as soon as the door opens is definitely an asset that should be honed for life.
already second in command, i should be satisfied, shouldn't i? after all, i was offered to lead but turned it down. other openings are looming and i may need to do coin-tossing a hundred times before jumping into them. if the others won't pay as much or better, and if i won't have my version of THE desk, then i should just try to be happy where i am. see, it's not about that dignity crap and fulfillment hullabaloos, really.
it's about the MONEY and THE desk. *wipes drool*
i bet my emotional quotient dropped way too low tonight. | | |
| taking it easy
i am taking it easy. it's hard to explain if you do not want others to fully understand it in the first place. particularly if it's as personal as an agreement between yourself and...yourself. i realized i am doing things impulsively and while i feel satisfied (i think), i thought of going to the other end of the "metaphorical tunnel" and take each thing easy as it comes. kumbaga, relax lang. alalay lang. i could seize more moments this way.
no more focusing on one thing, virtually forgetting the others. try everything that's there because honestly, this lifetime isn't enough to experience them all. no more trying to make my presence felt all the time just to let others know that "i am there". no more trying to relay everything that i know just so others would know that i do.
in short, i have to learn to be secure with myself. never mind if i become a person on the backseat. never mind if people do not see that i know many things about a lot of stuff (not that i really do, i mean, only about specific stuff of interest). what's important is that i am here, i know stuff, and i enjoy them. it's not written anywhere that i have to be transparent as it all the more makes me prone to insecurity, arrogance and envy all at the same time (see, you probably don't see it in me. uhm, do you?).
life is short, as evidenced by tragic events and natural deaths. i could regret it in my grave having to review everything i did and finding out that i experienced many things by dipping my finger into them... but not finishing practically most of them.
it could be the reason why at the end of the day, i still feel incomplete. it's good i realized it this early. | | |
| literalpanicblingbling25pictures
after a very tiring 11-hour workday, i conditioned myself to meet with my highschool BFFs :) two were missing-in-action but it was fantastic nonetheless. one of the many things i thought of during my irrational hiatus is my often-denied need to reconnect and stay in touch with people from my past.
it was a very warm dinner at caffe milano. by the way, the food had quite gone down, quality-wise. when we ate there for lunch probably a year ago, it was sooo good. the second one was just satisfactory and tonight, well, it has become an ordinary italian dining place to me (but the ambience was still great). i insisted we get my favorite pizza corea (four types of cheese, salami, italian beef) but i was disappointed with their ravioli d' (something). for one, i've been used to raviolis that are square-shaped (well, i grew up having raviolis straight from a can, haha). theirs looked more like big elbow-shaped macaronis, in red sauce and ricotta cheese, and the beef inside each ravioli (raviolette? hehe.) was elllllll....the texture of the beef was a bit uncomfortable inside the mouth. llll.
anyway, more than the food, i was thrilled to hear the things i've missed about my friends' lives, and of people we know. neds' boyfriend was there but of course was still too shy to co-bash the universe with us (he, btw, ranked 4th in the recent dentistry licensure exam, and neds passed, too! congrats!). see, living away from them had me wanting a barrage of updates about a lot of things, people and events. i've been away for almost eight years! time wasn't enough because their lives and mine alone, dinner time wouldn't suffice.
in sum, our lives are eventful and good. lyndsey even had a "brief" lovelife...well, it was a shock when she was making kuwento about the guy because since time immemorial, she never had that. i shared my own foolish exploits last year but compared to what she went through, mine was okay. ang bottomline, she's only about 85% healed while i can proudly say i completely am. as in. in a way, may similarities sa circumstances, but i guess those stuff made the experience more...ah...realistic?
over coffee, we started fooling around like we used to in highschool. some good things never do change. there are actions that no matter how old you get, you still feel naturally comfortable doing especially when with people that you know know you inside out. all of a sudden nga lang, the thought of striking 25 made us wonder. well, i just turned 24 and in our group, my bestfriend em is the first among us who will turn 25 in august. that's what i told her naman...sa august pa. pero kahit na daw. she'll be 25...and it will only be a couple of months after that na each of us will turn 25, too. em and lynds were particularly a bit bothered...especially with their personal lives. neds is happily attached to robert, si tzai is, as far as i know, happy with her life, and lizette, whom i have not seen in a while eh happy din. then there's moi, who i said na masaya din naman. hah, easy for me to say but like what i told them, even if i'm single, hindi ko naman nararamdaman yung nafifeel nila. wanna know why? because last year, my heart has been through a hell of an emotional exercise. i have no one beside me pero like a machine, parang it was used, therefore has been oiled sufficiently to weather its usage, kahit hindi naman technically nagkaroon ng production, parang ganon.
in truth, i don't feel as pressured with life as i had been two years ago. i could probably panic when i reach my thirties...or not. well, i opened myself to dating naman, as my friends did open themselves as well. in fact, i'm not really into it seriously pero kung may ipapa-date naman sa akin, preferably yung type ko na na chubby at please, sana naman yung may sense kausap at hindi masyado self-centered. but i'm not looking, hahaha!!! i'm even more concerned with how to have the time to download all pertinent Friends videos through the years, and how safe it is to use limewire :)
i maybe 24 but now i realize that life isn't to be taken in a rush. savor each moment, take it slow sometimes, because there are too many things to look at, experience, think about.
and there will be countless moments worth to be captured:
 two blurred images of us, girls. robert&neds, the two new dentists. the happy couple with lynds. em and i goofing around with the breads. em and lynds getting wacky with my lariats. sticking out my tongue. was too busy straining my neck to stare at the lady's book holder behind me.
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